


take my breath and never let it go

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Boys making lots of poor decisions, M/M, None of their ages are accurate, Nothing is underage, Smut, Teacher-Student Relationship, They're all at uni/college, slight overuse of the word baby, they're all at least 20, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-21
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-31 14:30:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3981562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis doesn’t touch him once but Harry goes home happier than he has been in a long time.<br/>He doesn’t know what they’re doing, thinks that maybe Louis’ trying to be friends and Harry doesn’t know how long he can keep that up because – because he loves Louis. He’s <i> in love <i></i></i> with a student. It’s definitely time to break open the hard liquor.<br/>It’s barely six o’clock on a Saturday when Harry takes the bottle to bed with him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>[or; Harry's a lecturer, Louis' a student and no one knows how to get what they want.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	take my breath and never let it go

**Author's Note:**

> please don't sleep with your professors :) 
> 
> Title from Love Me Harder by Ariana Grande

Harry follows Louis with his mouth when he leans back against the cluttered desk in his office but when he grinds down on the fingers in him and moans loudly, he pulls back and shoves three fingers past Louis’ lips. He bites on them to muffle his sounds and pulls Harry closer by his hair.

Louis whimpers quietly when Harry pulls his fingers out of his mouth, “Fuck Harry. _Shit_.” Harry shushes him and increases the pace of his fingers. Louis’ shirt is rucked up and one of his legs is wrapped around Harry’s and Harry can't tear his eyes away as Louis arches his back and comes untouched. He works him through it, whispering soft things in his ear that he knows from experience, Louis never hears.

Harry can feel his dick pressing against his jeans and subtly drops a hand to palm at himself. Even in his blissed out state Louis’ eyes track the motion and stare at his crotch as he puts on a bit of a show, highlighting the shape of himself through his jeans. He groans when Louis licks his lips and drops to his knees in front of him. Harry leans forward and rests his palms against the table near Louis' head.

Louis’ face is wild; with his soft hair tousled from his own fingers, plump bottom lip caught between his teeth and eyes slightly unfocused. He looks up at him from under his lashes and tugs Harry’s jeans and pants down in one move. Harry hisses a little when the cold air hits his dick.

He’s been hard for what feels like _hours_.

Louis tongues at the head once, twice, before suckling lightly. He takes him all the way down after a minute and Harry moans out loud when he hits the back of his throat. Louis wraps his hands around the back of his thighs and urges him forward. Harry can’t stop himself – he groans again, moves his hands to hold onto Louis' hair and thrusts slowly. Louis tightens his hands around his thighs and hums, pleased.

Harry's thrusts get faster as he uses Louis' mouth and when Louis moans around him Harry holds his head in place as he comes over his cheeks and lips. Louis looks him in the eye before licking his lips slowly, savouring the taste of Harry on his tongue.

He watches as Louis, still on his knees, reaches for his own cock, hard again just from sucking Harry off. He jerks himself roughly while mouthing at Harry’s thigh. He slips his hands into Louis’ hair and murmurs, "You like cock in your mouth baby?" He pauses to let Louis whine and then keeps whispering, "Or is it just my cock you're gagging for?" He’s far too pleased with himself when Louis whimpers and comes all over his hand and stomach a second later.

As always, the blissful feeling doesn’t last long. Harry feels the waves of guilt rushing in as he hurries to tuck himself back into his jeans and gather his things. He turns around at the door when Louis makes an aborted noise. He finds him still on his knees, eyes downcast and cock limp against his thigh, “Please, stay. Just – _don’t go_. Can -”

Harry walks out the door.

He leans his forehead against the steering wheel when he stumbles into his car and squeezes his eyes shut against the tears struggling to fall. When he looks up again the stars and street lights blur together.

 

XxX

 

Harry is early to his lecture the next evening. He stands at the front of the room watching his students filter in and a few of them greet him as they walk past.

Louis doesn’t walk through the doors.

 

Harry’s never been so glad to have only one class on Wednesdays. He dumps his bag with the papers he has to grade on his messy bed and steps into the shower fully clothed, letting the water soak through his clothes and flatten his hair against his head. He has to brace himself against the wall, though, when all he can think about is Louis’ face, Louis’ body, Louis’ voice. _Louis_.

‘Just – _don’t go_ ’ echoes all around him.

Harry slides down the wall and finally lets his tears mix with the water as he unbuttons his shirt slowly.

That night he sits down to grade his papers only to sweep the entire stack off the table when the very first one has Louis’ name on the front.

They’re both so young and have so much to look forward to. Harry _cannot_ let himself fuck that up.

He lies down on the living room floor and drowns his thoughts out with wine.

His headache the next morning is good if only because it means he can’t think about anything else for a while.

He doesn’t see Louis for the rest of the week.

 

XxX

 

   
The next Wednesday, Harry rushes into the lecture with two minutes to spare. Most of his students are already seated and talking to each other. When he starts the lecture a few minutes later and glances up the back, Louis is sitting in his usual seat between Niall and Liam. He leans on Niall’s shoulder and giggles quietly when Liam whispers in his ear. Harry makes himself look away.

 

He’s only been in his office for five minutes after the lecture when someone knocks on the door. He checks his diary to make sure he hasn’t forgotten about another meeting before opening it.

Louis looks _gorgeous_. His loose maroon jumper shows off his chest piece and his hair is swept to the side in a fringe, the way Harry likes best. He’s both soft and sharp at the same time. All angles and curves. Harry never wants to look away from the line of his cheeks or the sweep of his lashes.

Louis coughs self-consciously and Harry remembers himself.

He pulls him into the office and shuts the door before taking a few steps away from Louis. Something like hurt flashes across his face too quickly to catch but Harry still feels it like a slap in the face.

“Lou,” he breathes out shakily then clears his throat, “Uhm – did you have a question about your paper?”

Louis bridges the gap between them and stands on his toes to hover his lips near Harry’s. His breath is hot against Harry’s mouth when he murmurs a desperate, “Kiss me.”

Harry can’t stop himself as he grabs Louis’ hips and crashes their mouths together. Louis moans immediately when Harry sucks on his tongue. Louis curls a small hand around Harry’s bicep and kisses him urgently. Harry tugs him closer with a hand on the small of his back and ridiculously feels like the only thing holding Louis together. Louis pulls back to whimper against his ear and this time Harry jerks him closer with both hands on his arse.

Harry kisses him _hard_  and then moves away from him completely. Louis blinks at him, eyes wide.

Harry doesn’t stop him when he spins on his heel and leaves, shoulders already shaking.

He sits at his desk and doesn’t try to hold back the tears.

 

XxX

 

When Harry walks into his office the next day, Louis is already there with a question about the new paper they’ve been assigned. He gets the answers to his questions and leaves without another word. Harry feels his knees give out a little when he finds the spare key to his office, lying on the desk.

It looked less lonely on Louis’ key ring.

Harry takes a breath, squares his shoulders and gets ready for his next lecture.

 

XxX

 

Zayn lets himself into Harry’s flat on the weekend and takes a look around. “What the fuck bro? You’re never this messy.”

Harry closes his eyes where he’s lying on the couch and kicks an empty bottle of water to the ground. “It’s grading season. Also, hi. Yeah, I’m doing okay, thank you for asking. How are you?” he replies sarcastically.

Zayn sits on his legs and wiggles around when Harry doesn’t move them. “Yeah, yeah, Hi etcetera but seriously, what _happened_?” He gives up finding a space to sit on the couch and lies directly on top of Harry to pull him into a hug like that. Harry breathes in the familiar scent of boy and cologne and feels his eyes sting with tears for no reason. He’s been on the verge of a proper breakdown for the last couple of days but he thinks he can hold out a little longer.

With their faces so close, Zayn keeps his voice quiet but grins impishly when he asks, “Did you meet a boy Haz? Been too busy shagging to keep up with grading?"

Apparently that’s what breaks Harry and suddenly he’s sobbing uncontrollably. Zayn scrambles to sit up and pulls Harry with him, “ _Shit_ , _Harry. What - ?”_  He sounds confused and hysterical but Harry does nothing to help.

Zayn quickly hauls him into his side, presses his lips against his temple and holds them there til Harry stops shaking.

They move to the bedroom after a while and snuggle together under the covers. Zayn asks him about it again but Harry pretends to be asleep. Zayn sees through the lie but hugs him closer while he sighs. “Fine. Okay.”

Harry watches the numbers on his digital clock change; crying has left him overtired and wide awake.

Nearly ten minutes later Zayn whispers an anxious, “ _Shit._ ”

 

XxX

 

Harry decides to mark his new stack of papers at one of the lesser used cafes on campus. Zayn comes with him because he still dresses like a teenager and fits right in and because in the two weeks since he cried on his shoulder, Zayn is yet to leave Harry alone for more than a few hours.

Harry is vaguely jealous of the freedom Zayn gets from working for his father.

The change of scenery is refreshing and it leaves him feeling ready to power through his work with a pot of tea by his side. They’ve been working silently for close to three hours when Zayn stretches and declares it lunch time. Harry slumps his head on to the mountain of papers and groans. “Yes, _please_.”

Harry is taking a bite of his sandwich when he spots Louis sitting with Nick a few tables away. Zayn catches him staring and turns his head to the side. “Ooh, who’re we checking out? The hipster one or the little, hot one?” he asks with a dirty wink.

Harry grits his teeth a bit and shrugs, feigning nonchalance, “We’re not checking out anyone, they’re just some kids from one of my classes.”

Zayn laughs loudly and turns back around to face him. “You can’t call them kids, mate. They look like they’re older than you. You’re still a baby.”

Harry laughs too, keeping one eye on Louis who reaches across the table to playfully grab at something on Nick’s plate. “Nick,” he has to clarify when Zayn’s eyebrows pull together, “the hipster one, he’s the only one that’s my age. He worked on the radio or something for a few years after sixth form. All the other _kids_ ,” he sticks his tongue out at Zayn before continuing, “they’re all about twenty.”

His blood runs cold when he hears himself. Apparently Louis has a type.

Zayn laughs lightly and launches into a story about a client of his who claims to be friends with Taylor Swift. Harry doesn’t hear much of it, too busy watching Nick’s hand where it lies on Louis’ thigh.

Zayn gets a call from a client not long after and has to go into work. Harry packs up his things as well and heads to his office after assuring Zayn that he’ll be fine alone.  He thinks idly that he doesn’t actually know what Zayn does for a job and waves at his boss when she walks past but he can’t stop seeing Louis leaning into Nick’s side.

Neither Nick nor Louis come in for his lecture that day and Harry cannot focus on anything else.

 

XxX

 

Two weeks later he sees Nick holding hands with a dark skinned boy while Louis laughs at something beside them and Harry breathes a little easier.

 

XxX

 

The weak sunlight is hitting Harry’s face at an odd angle and the sheets under him feel unfamiliar but the body in his arms is warm and lazily rocking back against his morning wood. He grunts and grinds his dick forward before reaching out to touch the person next to him. He sleepily expects to feel the familiar planes of Louis’ body and snaps his eyes open when his fingers come into contact with someone else. He awkwardly gets out of bed as the guy huffs and rolls his eyes but goes back to sleep without saying anything.

Harry barely remembers the night before. He hopes he at least texted Zayn when he left the club or there’ll be hell to pay. He remembers the guy telling him he was staying with his brother while he was in London. He recalls coming here with – Gavin? George? Gary? – and falling straight into bed. He remembers the music coming from the other room getting louder and louder as – Gavin? George? Gary? – did the same.

Harry locates his clothes and pulls them on as he wanders out to try and find something for his headache before he can leave to prepare for his evening lecture. He’s rummaging around in the kitchen after having had a look in the bathroom when someone else walks in. Harry spins around only to come face to face with Niall.

Niall looks confused for a second before realisation dawns. “Oh, _oh_.” He ducks his head and quickly shuffles back the way he came.

Harry abandons his search and nearly slams the front door shut in his haste to leave.

 

XxX

 

Unfortunately, that evening he walks up to the doors of the lecture room just as Louis, Niall and Liam do. He holds it open for them and watches as Niall blushes a brilliant red while coughing awkwardly.

Harry is _horrified_.

Louis’ voice is curious and a little sharp when he says, “What was _that_ Horan?” as they sit in their usual spot.

Other students wander in and settle into their seats while Harry watches from the front of the room as Niall leans in and whispers to Liam and Louis. He can tell from the way Louis pales that Niall told them about their morning encounter.

Louis leaves half an hour in to the lecture.

 

XxX

 

The next afternoon someone knocks on the door to his office. He calls them in and then gapes as Louis stands in front of his desk, fingers wrapped tight around the strap of his shoulder bag. He coughs quietly. “I – uhm. I was wondering if I could do some study in here?”

Harry nods dumbly and keeps staring as Louis settles into the seat across from him and pulls out his laptop and a textbook. Harry gets a little light headed when his mind flashes through some of the other times Louis has been in his office and looks down to stare at his desk as he fights the blush rising to his cheeks, mentally reprimanding his dick when it twitches.

Harry sticks his pen in his mouth and gathers his hair into a bun. _He can do this._

A few minutes later Louis breaks the silence, “Can I play some music?” Harry just nods again. Someday soon he’s going to put his brain to use and start using actual words to communicate with people. Today is apparently not that day.

When ‘Hold Me Up’ starts playing from Louis’ laptop Harry just smiles a little and gets back to work.

 

XxX

 

Weeks go by in much the same way. Louis comes into his office to study most days and doesn’t leave until late. He’ll pull his glasses out when it starts to get dark and Harry has to stop himself from reaching out to touch his face. Some days they’ll talk intermittently and some days they’ll work quietly, comfortable in the silence that settles.

Louis doesn’t touch him once but Harry goes home happier than he has been in a long time.

Harry doesn’t know what they’re doing. He thinks that maybe Louis’ trying to be friends and Harry doesn’t know how long he can keep that up because – because he loves Louis. He’s _in love_ with a student. It’s definitely time to break open the hard liquor.

It’s barely six o’clock on a Saturday when Harry takes the bottle to bed with him.

He wakes up a few hours later to the bed dipping as someone climbs in beside him. It doesn’t even occur to him to be scared. He turns around groggily to find Zayn staring at the bottle of Jack Daniels sitting next to Harry’s phone on the bedside table.

He reaches past Harry for the alcohol and takes a swig before sitting back down with the bottle cradled in his lap. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and Harry knows what he’s going to say before he even opens his mouth. “I’m going to need you to tell me what this is about babe,” Zayn says carefully.

Harry doesn’t feel ready for this. Harry is never going to be ready for this.

Zayn presses his knee to Harry’s side before he continues. “I can’t have you breakdown on me and then find you in bed with JD and just – just _let it go_.”

Zayn has pulled Harry through _a lot._ He pulled him up when Harry fell on his face in year three and the older kids laughed at him. He stayed home from camp in year five when Harry fractured his ankle and couldn’t go. Zayn was there when Harry kissed Katie in year seven and he was still there after Harry kissed Ben in year ten. In their second year of university he took Harry in when he couldn’t make the rent and lost his apartment. Last year he held Harry close when Anne was in hospital for two weeks.

Zayn lies down beside him and Harry turns on his back and closes his eyes because he can’t bear to disappoint the one person that has always been there for him. His voice comes out weak and shaky. “I’m in love with a student.” Harry feels his heart trip over itself before it hurries to return to its normal pace. He realises it’s the first time he’s ever said it out loud.

Zayn doesn’t sound surprised. “It’s the little one who was with that Nick guy that one time right? The one you couldn’t take your eyes off?” Zayn’s a perceptive little shit.

“I – yeah. Yeah, it is,” Harry sighs out quietly. He inexplicably really wants to say Louis’ name out loud. “His name’s Louis. I really – yeah. He’s – yeah, _his name’s Louis_.” He feels raw and desperate, for what he doesn’t know.

Harry expects the slap he gets to his thigh for not finishing his sentences but it’s the first normal thing to happen since he woke up and the thought makes him cry. He tucks his head into Zayn’s neck and sobs quietly. Zayn holds him close with a hand in his hair and the other rubbing his back.

“You never used to cry this much. You never used to be so sad,” he whispers a while later when Harry has calmed down some. He continues when Harry sniffles and doesn’t move. “Is he really worth that?” at Harry’s nod Zayn exhales quietly and murmurs, “Okay. You can look, yeah? Just don’t touch.”

Harry squeezes his eyes shut and keeps his mouth closed. He doesn’t know how to tell Zayn that he crossed that line before he even fell in love.

 

XxX

 

On Monday, Harry waits all day but Louis doesn’t come to his office. He’s texting Gemma while he walks to his car and finds Louis leaning against the hood of one of the few cars left in the car park. Louis startles when he sees Harry. He gets off the car to take a step forward and then stumbles back.

Harry goes to keep walking but then stops. “You didn’t come in today.” He keeps his voice low and his eyes straight ahead, pretending to watch a bird in a tree.

Louis’ voice barely carries to Harry when he replies. “Yeah. It was Liam’s birthday, spent the day with him”

Harry saw Liam laughing with Niall when he went to get lunch at the refectory.

“Okay.” This time Harry takes a few steps towards his car before he stops. “What are you doing here Lou? It’s the staff car park,” he hears himself and promptly wishes he hadn’t asked. He sees Louis open his mouth to reply when someone else’s voice interrupts them.

“Sorry sorry, got caught up in a meeting babe. Do you wanna pick up some Chinese on the way home?”

Harry turns around to see Aiden, a new lecturer, a few years younger than Harry and definitely aiming his words at Louis. Harry liked him quite a lot until now. Louis shoots Harry a quick look and gets in Aiden’s car when it unlocks. He watches Louis kiss Aiden on the cheek before they drive off.

Harry pulls up to his building and doesn’t recall driving home.

 

XxX

 

Louis doesn’t come back to study after that. He smiles shyly if they see each other in the hallway but he doesn’t come in to spend any time in Harry’ office.

A week later, Harry sees him in Aiden’s office with his glasses on as he types and ditches his trip to the toilet to go back to his office and calm his breath as he leans against the back of the locked door. He doesn’t know if he should get Louis back but he has never wanted anything more.

By the time the mid-term holiday catches up to them Harry can feel himself spiralling back to a dark place. Over the break he develops a close, personal relationship with the bottom of multiple bottles of vodka while his thumb hovers over Louis’ number on his phone.

He’s never used it before. He doesn’t start now.

 

XxX

 

The first day back, Harry sees Louis walking towards the staff carpark and doesn’t think before he follows after him. He rounds the corner to see Louis hugging Aiden before heading towards the gate near the bus stop as Aiden drives off.

Harry’s legs are running and his voice is calling out to him before he registers it. Louis stops in the middle of the carpark and turns around. Harry is breathless and angry when he reaches Louis. “What? You’re boyfriend’s too busy to give you a ride home?”

Louis looks startled but Harry can see the anger bubbling up as he keeps talking. “Only free enough to fuck you?”

Louis’ face darkens and his nostrils flare, “Oh, you mean like what you did?” he replies harshly.

Harry stops breathing and feels all the anger drain out, replaced with guilt. “Lou,” he breathes out quietly. His heart is pounding and he doesn’t feel like he knows anything anymore. He can’t believe how much he’s fucked this up. “I never – That’s never what I –”

Louis talks over him, clearly not interested in hearing Harry stutter through an explanation. “You just left me there talking to myself. You made it abundantly fucking clear that you didn’t have the time for me. I gave you so many chances. So whatever the fuck it is you’re mad about, it’s your own _fucking_  fault.” It sounds rehearsed but sincere and Harry realises that it probably _is_ both of those things.

Louis only pauses to glare at him, shoulders heaving. “ _You don’t get to fucking do this,_ ” he hisses finally. Harry hauls him close and kisses him; putting everything he’s feeling in to it as Louis pushes at his chest weakly.

Harry feels his heart split cleanly in two when Louis whimpers like he’s hurt.

He pulls back far enough to hover his lips near Louis’ ear and whispers, “You mean so much to me. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

Louis sobs once into his neck and walks away from Harry. He watches Louis get on the bus that’s just pulled up and doesn’t make it to his car before he’s dialling Zayn.

 

XxX

 

On Wednesday Louis doesn’t come to his lecture but when Harry reaches the carpark that night he finds him leaning against the hood of Harry’s car. The street light creates a halo around Louis and his eyes are wide and anxious as they stare at him. It’s such a surreal sight that Harry finds himself stopping to just _look_ at Louis.

He quickly rushes towards him though when panic begins to flash across Louis’ face. Louis just keeps staring when Harry stops in front of him, close enough to touch. Harry tentatively reaches a hand out to rest on Louis’ hip. When he doesn’t flinch away or yell, Harry pulls him in close and backs him up against the driver’s side door. He leans down to talk directly into Louis’ ear. “You’re so beautiful. I never know what to do with myself when I have you like this.” Harry feels his heart swell when Louis huffs a little laugh.

“It definitely _felt_ like you knew what to do.”

Harry chuckles and leans in further to kiss him softly, slowly. Louis goes loose and pliant in his arms while Harry pushes in closer. “Come home with me?” It’s barely a whisper but Louis nods with his arms wrapped tightly around Harry’s shoulders.

He holds Louis’ hand the entire drive home.

 

XxX

 

Harry crowds into Louis’ space the second they’re in the door and Louis whimpers before they’ve even touched. He gathers him up close and cradles Louis’ face in his hands as he kisses him wherever he can reach – his cheeks, his nose, his eyelids, the corner of his mouth.

Louis is quiet and tense as he kisses back, like he’s still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Harry tugs on the back of his thighs and pushes his back into the wall when Louis wraps his legs around Harry’s waist. “Don’t ever want to let you go,” Harry mumbles into the kiss. He feels Louis relax a little so he keeps whispering everything he feels in his ear until Louis is as plaint as he was against Harry’s car.

He moans desperately when Harry grinds their clothed cocks together.

Harry can’t stand it any longer. He carries Louis to his bedroom and lowers him carefully onto his unmade sheets. Louis keeps his knees bent, feet flat on the mattress and Harry gets in between them to grind the thick line of his cock against Louis’ arse. He’s rewarded with another moan and Louis’ legs wrapped around his waist again. Harry can feel the muscles in Louis’ strong thighs quiver against his side.

He unbuttons Louis’ jeans and tugs his cock out, pumps him slowly, revelling in the sight of Louis on his bed. He sucks distracted kisses down his neck and behind his ear which earns him a whimper, just like always. Harry can’t believe he almost gave this up. Louis just stares up at him, eyes dark and desire written across his features. It makes Harry take his hand off Louis’s dick and haul him into another kiss. Louis shudders against him.

“Want you all the time,” Harry breathes into Louis’ mouth. “Can never stop thinking about you.” 

Louis whines and bucks up into the circle of Harry’s fist. He keeps his hand still and pulls back to look at Louis’ face. “You can’t go back to him. I can’t – I – _Please_ ,” Harry pleads. “I could treat you so well baby. _I want to_.”

Louis mewls and lifts up off the mattress to kiss Harry. It’s the first time Louis initiated a kiss today and Harry feels his cock _throb_ and leak a little inside his pants. Louis already sounds winded when he speaks. “Mate from home.”

Louis must feel the question lingering because he elaborates breathlessly. “Aiden. Not with him, just my best friend from Donny.” Harry feels relief wash over him in waves.

Louis gives up forming words and swallows loudly as he pulls his own shirt off. It snaps Harry into action and he has Louis naked and writhing on his sheets in seconds.

He pushes Louis up the bed and goes to hover over him but Louis sits up and starts working on the buttons on Harry’s shirt. Harry is breathless as he watches Louis undress him. When he’s in just his boxers, Harry pulls Louis onto his lap and kisses him passionately. Louis purposely pushes his bare arse onto Harry’s boxer-clad cock and they both moan as it parts Louis’ cheeks and the material brushes roughly against his hole.

Harry holds his hips still and whispers into his mouth. “You’re mine aren’t you baby.” It comes out as less of a question than it probably should.  Louis whines loudly, grinds his arse onto Harry’s cock and nods into his neck.

“Yours. Want to be only yours.”

Harry breathes out harshly. “Yeah?”

“Yours. _Please_ , fuck. Just yours. Harry, _please._ ” Louis sounds frantic and Harry is slowly losing his mind.

Harry lies him down and brushes kisses down his body as he moves lower. Louis squirms and spreads his legs open, showing off. Harry touches him lightly where he’s so openly offering himself and finally focuses enough to get the lube and condoms. He pops the lube open, then thinks better of it and sets it down beside his knee for later.

Louis sees this and whines in protest. He lifts his hips up and turns his head to whimper into the pillow. Harry bends down while he’s not looking and licks a flat stripe over his hole.

Louis’s breath hitches as he kicks his legs out and his hands fly to Harry’s hair. Harry flips him over quickly and bends back down. He licks at him over and over again quickly and then points his tongue to prod inside. Not five minutes later, Louis whines into his arms loudly. “ _Fuck, fuck_. Going to come. Harry – _shit_.”

Harry leans back on his heels and coaxes Louis onto his back again as he whimpers from being so close to the edge. Harry kisses him on the mouth and lets Louis taste himself on Harry’s tongue until he’s calmed down some. He picks the lube up again and continues opening him up on his fingers. He shoves a pillow under Louis’ hips as Louis lifts one of his legs onto Harry’s shoulder.

Louis’ already falling apart and Harry can’t take his eyes off him.

“ _Please_ ,” Louis begs, mouth open as Harry pulls the two fingers he’s got inside him almost all the way out and then pushes them in fast, scissoring him open. Harry strokes his other hand across Louis’ stomach and presses down a little making Louis’ toes curl and choke out a dry sob. “ _Oh my god._ ”

“Going to make you feel so good baby,” Harry promises.

“ _Please._ Please Harry. I need more,” Louis begs again for the fifth time, clenching around him and fucking himself down on Harry’s fingers. He looks like he’s on the verge of tears. Louis slides the leg he has on Harry’s shoulder down his arm and then lifts his hips off the bed as he spreads his legs wider. Harry pulls his fingers out and just watches as Louis offers himself up.

“ _Fuck. Look at you._ ” Harry doesn’t realise he’s spoken out loud until he sees Louis tremble bodily.

Louis whines from the empty feeling and shoves three of his smaller fingers into his hole unceremoniously. Harry promptly loses his breath. He shucks his boxers and holds his dick tightly around the base as he watches Louis finger himself. Louis notices him watching and puts on a bit of a show. He arches his back and bends his knees til his feet are flat on the mattress again. He moans as he brushes his prostate and picks up the pace of his fingers. Harry brings both of his hands up to play with his nipples and Louis eyes snap shut as he sobs wetly. Harry gently wipes away the tear that tracks down Louis’ face and then replaces Louis’ fingers with three of his own.

“ _Please, please, Harry. Please_ ,” Louis slurs out, curling a hand around Harry’s biceps as the other one reaches over his head to grab onto the headboard. Harry feels his dick leak some more when Louis’ hole flutters around his fingers. Harry bends down to suck one of his nipples into his mouth and revels in it as Louis whimpers and trembles through the feeling.

Twenty minutes later he’s still got three fingers pressed deep inside Louis, rubbing against his prostate. He doesn’t want to hear anything but the sound of Louis begging to be fucked ever again.  

Harry rips the condom open with his teeth so that he can keep his fingers in Louis. He rolls it on and coats himself in lube, rubbing his fingers against Louis’ prostate just to hear Louis beg again. He pulls them out and rubs the blunt head of his cock against Louis’ hole before he pushes in slowly.

Louis lets his legs fall open and grabs onto the headboard with both hands. Harry wets his lips when he sees Louis’ cock fat and leaking against his stomach. Harry doesn’t think he can hold out much longer so he doesn’t tease Louis anymore. He fucks in deep once and then sets an even rhythm, the way Louis loves to be fucked.

Harry groans, overwhelmed by the tight, hot clench of Louis around him. He holds his hips down and dicks in faster.

“Please.” Louis breathes, reaching to pull his legs against his chest, head shooting off the pillows when the angle pushes Harry in deeper, mouth hanging open. 

“ _Oh my god_.” Louis gasps out, and Harry looks down to catch a drop of precome oozing out of Louis’ flushed cock on his fingers. He brings it up to Louis’ lips and watches on mesmerised, when Louis sucks it clean.

Harry thinks again, that he can’t believe he almost gave this up. He distantly hears a phone vibrate from the floor but they both ignore it. Well, he doesn’t think Louis noticed it at all. 

He angles his hips and hits his prostate dead on as Louis screams, arches his back and comes, some landing on his nipple. Harry bends down to suck on it and doesn’t stop fucking him. Louis shudders, oversensitive and holds Harry’s head against his chest.

Harry pulls his face away and sweeps Louis’ sweaty fringe off his face. “ _Baby,”_ he murmurs. He’s so close he can barely breathe.

He goes to pull out but Louis whines and tightens his legs around Harry. He shakes his head frantically. “Come in me.” Harry doesn’t need to be told twice and a few more thrusts later he’s doing exactly that. 

Harry has just enough energy left to roll on to the sheets before he collapses, so as not to crush Louis.

Louis curls up close and places a hand over Harry’s heart as Harry pulls him closer with a hand wrapped around his shoulders. They both stare silently at Louis’ hand on his chest for a long time.

Harry waits for the guilt to wash over him but it never comes.

 

XxX

 

Louis looks up at him eyes wide and speaks quietly so as not to disturb the calm that has settled in the room over the last hour. “Should I leave?”

Harry nearly cries at the question. Can’t believe he fucked up _this_ much. He wraps Louis up in his arms and tugs him close til there’s no way they could be any closer. “Never want you to leave.”

Louis exhales quietly and goes completely pliant in Harry’s arms. “Never want to leave.”

Harry kisses him on the forehead as he watches Louis’ eyes drift shut and thinks three words he’s too scared to say out loud.

Harry’s not stupid. He knows what their risking but he hopes that whatever happens next he gets to fall asleep holding his beautiful boy in his arms, for as long as Louis will have him. He hopes it’s a long time.

Harry hopes it’s a forever kind of deal.

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it this far: thank you, you're wonderful.  
> If you didn't make it this far: yea, fair enough. you're still wonderful.
> 
> Also, this was my first time writing like _proper ___smut so i'm sorry if it's a bit shit. I tried my best. :D
> 
> The song Louis plays the first time he studies in Harry's office is Hold Me Up by Conrad Sewell. If you haven't discovered Conrad Sewell yet, please get on that. I promise you you're missing out. 
> 
>  
> 
> kudos and comments would make my entire day. <3 xx


End file.
